Thursday, September 30, 2010

I wish I were as funny as Simon Doonan

I don’t know how or why this brilliant list became a footnote to another (brilliant) piece, but you’d think Monsieur Doonan was a bona fide Parisian with his astute observations.

French Ladies Don't Know Squat

• Frenchwomen are so fabulous that they can smoke loads of Gitanes without getting bad breath or brown teeth
• Frenchwomen can eat croissants without getting crumbs on their cashmere cardigan, or worrying about cholesterol, or becoming hideously obese
• Frenchwomen always take off one accessory before leaving the house
• Frenchwomen understand how to keep their men happy in special, secret Frenchy ways, which sometimes involve black lingerie
• Frenchwomen can tie an Hermès scarf on their heads and not end up looking Kurdish (not that there’s anything wrong with looking Kurdish)
• Frenchwomen put lavender in their panty drawers
• Frenchwomen are so bloody perfect and superior, it’s annoying
• Frenchwomen are full of chic!

How many times did he make you laugh?


  1. Just read the link. "Say no to ho." LOL. One should always choose class over ass. Class is timeless. Ass doesn't age so well. :)

  2. wanders off muttering 'I put lavender in my panty drawer!' - replaced every year from the plants in my garden.

    But the rest made me laugh


  3. The bit about the Hermes scarf made me laugh out loud.
    I laughed a few times :)

  4. These are brilliant. I want to try to emulate being a Frenchwoman!! So true on all counts and the funnier for it! :)

  5. Another desperate attempt to analyse the French woman's 'je ne sait quoi' IMHO
    I say give it up.
    Nobody knows how they do it and they're not going to find out either unless born under the tri-color flag from day one.
    You can try to marry into it and still get it terribly wrong.
    Bon chance