Monday, April 26, 2010

I am lucky, the self-conscious girl declared

Sometimes I worry that I sound like a real asshole on this here blog. That people think I just flit about, rhapsodizing about pastries, skipping around as if all that mattered was my opinion about Parisian architecture and foreign travels. I know I do flit and skip and go on a bit too much about pastries, but I do it, knowing how lucky I am. How very, very privileged and fortunate I am to be living in Paris, working on Louis Vuitton, traveling to foreign countries, and that I have the freedom to do so much of this on a whim, and, most important, the support and encouragement back home, egging me on. Trust me, I think about it all the time.

I had one of these moments at Verdura, where I was walking along a lit path at night, on my way to dinner, under the moon. I started thinking about how this was a resort that neither of my parents would probably ever visit. That I was in a pocket of the world that not many people get to see. Indeed, just what was I doing, walking along this beautiful path in Sicily, of all places? How did I get there? Not literally, but it was a moment of feeling so present, and so aware and grateful for it.

And the best part was that this moment wasn’t tinged with sadness because I had no one to share it with. I’m in a phase where I’m content being single. As thrilled as I would be to find that notch for my nook, I am used to being on my own. I realize that seeing things with only my eyes doesn’t make them any less lovely.

4 comments:

  1. I like this post. I can relate. You get used to being alone. Sure it's great to have someone to share it with but focus on the present and appreciate what you have :)

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  2. I don't think you sound like an asshole at all! To me, you simply sound like someone who's enjoying her life, and is savoring its joys and opportunities. That attitude is what makes your blog such a pleasure to read. And your descriptions of Paris and its pastries, is the best arm-chair traveling a person could ask for while sitting behind her desk...

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  3. Flitting and skipping isn't a bad thing. And it's how I always feel every time I'm in France. Which isn't often enough. So nice to read about your flits and skips!

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