Thursday, July 8, 2010

Je reste à Paris

Sometimes it rains. Really, really hard. And other times, life is beyond beautiful.


The past couple months were really tough; really trying. I have been lonely and homesick and ready to pack it up. My contract was up at the end of June, and my plan was to go back home, into the arms of my friends and family, and my beloved New York. Back to a life that made sense and felt comfortable and was good to me.

And yet.

And yet I couldn’t quite leave. I rather like Paris, after all. I’ve come to really enjoy my work. And if Ogilvy could extend just one more contract, and I could finish this Vuitton project, and maybe meet more people and learn more of the language and travel more and find that joy again that sustained and lifted me for months upon months last year… well then, pourquoi pas?

If only the decision had been that easy. It was excruciating, thanks in no small part to my introverted, belabored ways of overthinking things. But a little over a month ago, I was biking through Place de la Concorde, and this was the light I saw.

Really! I saw the light!

And I knew at that moment that I was staying. If only for another six months.

And even though it has taken me weeks to admit it and say it out loud, I am staying. I will remain in Paris through the end of the year. Best of all, I feel good about my decision. I feel positive and hopeful and confident, which, after months of feeling shaky and unsure, is a huge relief.

And, my god, I am in Paris. I am staying for another six months. It is summer, I have friends, I am fulfilled, and I have so many things to look forward to and everything seems to (finally!) be falling into place.

I am staying in Paris, and I am again a happy girl.

10 comments:

  1. Good for you Amy. You are living a lot of people's dreams. It's tough ... that's part of the journey. Write a book or better yet, enjoy your next 6 months. I'm jealous.
    Meg

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  2. I totally understand the torn between places feelings and then the suddenly being able to leave and surprising oneself by not being quite ready yet.
    The more time you are there, the more settled you will become, friends, habits, more at home. 6 months is just a honeymoon .. you need at least a year or 3 or more :)
    un beso ~

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  3. Woody Allen is filming his new film in Paris this summer/now.
    Let us know if you have any sightings of Mr Allen :)

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  4. What a hard decision! Sometimes freedom can be challenging. (freedom in the sense of no husband and kids). Oddly enough, I'm at a crossroads (I think) and just wrote about how to know the answers to "big questions" (on my blog) I haven't made a decision yet, but I do hope that when I do I feel relieved and happy like you do!

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  5. Oh, and I'm happy you're staying too, since we'll presumably get another 6 months of the American Girl in Paris from you!!!! Your blog is great...and the top photo looks like it was pulled from a movie reel. Love it.

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  6. Your Paris pals love you so much. We're so happy that you are staying a bit longer.


    Bisous from Your Fellow New Yorker Who Has Been Saying 'Just Six More Months...' Over and Over For The Past SIX YEARS!!! :)

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  7. I am so happy to hear how you're feeling about staying! I'm so sad to hear it will be another 6 months till I can have you back... but it will absolutely be worth the wait, Amy! Maybe we'll rendezvous around Christmas in Essex? :) XOXOXOXOXO

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  8. I'm happy for you! :D Good luck and enjoy your next six months!
    And by the way I really find that first picture (of the pouring rain) very calming/soothing :)

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  9. Thank you, my friends. To be both cheesy and state the obvious: the hardest part is missing friends and family. But it's also one of life's gifts: knowing how deep relationships can run (Ker) and forging new ones (Mel). xo

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  10. I am so happy to hear that I will be reading my favorite Paris blog for another six months! Like many others who follow your adventures in the City of Light I am living vicariously through you and hope that some day I'll be the one blogging from Paris!

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