Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The agony of defeat


It’s a modern fairy tale: you meet someone, fall in love and decide, yes, you want to build a future together. Let’s start by finding the perfect place to call home! We’ll move in together, host dinner parties for friends, feed each other croissants in the morning, take bubble baths for two, it will be awesome. Let’s go!

And so, seeing as you’re on the cooler side, you decide that Brooklyn, not Manhattan, is the borough to find this home. Like, Brooklyn Heights, Cobble Hill or Boerum Hill—quintessential Brooklyn. The search starts filled with anticipation, optimism, buoyancy. Look at all these adorable townhouses! Or maybe we should get a modern place down in DUMBO? So many options, where will we wind up??

And then you start going to the open houses. The first few weekends are like going to a friend’s friend’s cocktail party. It’s filled with people—if they could just get out of your way so you can check out the bathroom fixtures and living room view—who seem familiar, you’re all there for a common purpose, but they’re giving you the stink eye. Then these open house soirées become so popular that lines start forming outside. They trail down those covetable stoops, making you feel like an undesirable. So it's this competitive? Game on.

Weeks turn into months and you’ve been hauling your ass all over Brooklyn. Maybe Gowanus, Prospect Heights and Fort Greene should be added to the mix. So you go. And, apparently, so does the rest of the world. Or at least all the other young couples who are looking for a two-bedroom Brooklyn nest to call home. Then the self-loathing kicks in. You look around at all these people who look and act just like you. They want exactly what you’re looking for. And you thought you were so special. Silly girl.

Now you’re months in, devoting every Sunday to an open house circuit, and investing time in culling through financial statements and filling out offer forms and pre-approval letters. It’s not going so well. You’ve been outbid five times. By dozens of people and tens of thousands of dollars.  The price of apartments is going up before your very eyes.

Okay, it’s time to consider Lower Park Slope. Clinton Hill, Bed-Stuy or Crown Heights? How important is convenient transportation? The length of your commute? A nearby grocery store? Do we really need that second bedroom? Or maybe we can get a loan big enough for a three bedroom?

You get to the “best and final offer” phase a couple times. It’s all within reach! If you can just pony up a more persuasive offer, a bigger down payment, a little more cash, then you just might get that apartment in that neighborhood that you’re just beginning to make peace with.

But no dice. Three and a half months, forty+ apartments, seven bids later, you’ve still not been granted the keys to a fabulous slice of Brooklyn. You're still searching, hoping, crunching numbers. And you thought Manhattan could be tough.

21 comments:

  1. Dear God! Sounds horrific! Maybe it's time to look at another up-and-coming borough? Or use your fabulousness to turn a not so up-and-coming one into a cool place?:)

    I'm sure that the place you need is out there. Timing is everything:) Or maybe you could keep your current place and buy a Paris pied-a-terre, instead?;)

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  2. Sorry to be the one to break it to you but... welcome to being an adult.

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    1. Welcome to being an adult in a greedy capitalist world, more like.

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  3. That sounds tough... it would seem to me it's always hard... hard to buy and hard to sell!!
    Good luck with the search and don't give up... your turn will come... :) xv

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  4. I vote for the Paris pied-a-terre ;)

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  5. Kathy, Vicki, Duchesse, thank you for your words of support and encouragement! We all know stranger things have happened than moving to Paris. Never say never!

    Anon, I wish it were just a function of adulthood. Unfortunately, it's more like "welcome to not having $1 million in cash for a 2-bedroom apartment."

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  7. The same thing is happening in DC! Escalation clauses, free rent backs to the sellers, and so many other people looking that it's hard not to feel overwhelmed and demoralized. We had our heart seriously broken by one place we lost, but after searching for 3 months, our 4th offer was finally accepted- though we had to waive both the apparaisal and financing contingencies. Hang in there!! You'll find your nest...

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  9. I support seeing these difficulties as an opportunity to move to France until the next financial crises floods the market with under-priced gems...if that doesn't come to pass, there's always Connecticut.

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  10. I feel for you. It must become so frustrating and all-consuming, that process of looking and applications and bids. The price of living in New York, I guess?
    It makes me realise how lucky I am to live on a beautiful, little, underpopulated island at the end of the Earth, where expensive real.estate is a mansion with a pool for under a million Oz dollars five minutes walk from the centre of the city. However, ... it ain't New York .
    And, there is always France.

    Good luck! There is always France.

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  11. Oh Amy ! I have been so wrapped up in my own selling, closing and moving away from Buenos Aires and back to NYC that I have been lax in keeping up with you ... I am sorry. Buying a home is only a teeny bit easier than selling a home. At least you have the anticipation and design dreams keeping you entertained .
    We are in Connecticut right now, doing what you are doing but different, you know what I mean.
    We have left the city and are about to become country mice.
    If we can only find the home... We will.... and so will you. And it will be the stuff of all of your dreams.
    Promise, it happens... usually when you think it never will.
    besos, C

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  12. Joanna, I had no idea DC was experiencing a similar market. It's so crazy - will this country ever return to 'normal'??

    Michael, stranger things have happened, right? There is always Paris...

    Mrs. Smith, it sounds like you have yourself a slice of heaven on earth. Enjoy it!

    And Candice, you're right: we'll both find happy homes in the country and the city, and finally we will be able to rendezvous! xo

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  13. Oh my goodness. I see what you mean about your property headache over in Brooklyn. It's crazy madness in big cities! Persevere and try not to get too attached to places (easier said than done, believe me, but it helps). In the meantime, we'll be in Brooklyn in a few weeks for a short holiday so I shall revisit the blog for ideas and inspiration! x

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